Change The Setting, Change The Story
by Berry Smoothie
Summary: Leah leaves La Push for NYC: she's visiting her aunt, but a volcano eruption keeps her from flying back - a happy coincidence for her. She stays in NYC for much longer than anybody anticipated, and comes back different than she left.
1. A Little Something To Look Forward To

_**Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine.**_

_**To my dear and wonderful readers,**_

_**If you are thinking 'what the hell is this?' right now, I understand. I've decided I don't really like the style in which I wrote the first couple of chapters of "Change The Setting, Change The Story". I was really frustrated with it, and it interfered with my ability to write more chapters.**_

_**So I went ahead and started editing. Actually, almost everything is still the same, only the chapters are kind of combined and therefore longer. **__**Do not skip over this chapter, some parts are different and you need to read this to understand the future plot**__**. Even if the first parts are lifted directly from the first version of this story.**_

_**Love, **_

_**Me**_

Leah ran, pushing herself to go faster and faster, racing past blurred outlines of trees and bushes. There was nothing but silence in her head, for which she was grateful. In moments like these, when she didn't bother to mask her pain with bitterness, she was vulnerable from verbal attacks from the other wolves.

She wished she could just go on like this forever, running efficiently through the beautiful forest, without a single intruder in her head – without Sam Uley. The son of a bitch, she thought, and pushed herself to go faster.

As if he hadn't hurt her enough! As if _imprinting_ would ever justify his actions! Leah Clearwater didn't hate imprinting. She didn't even dislike it – hell, she wished it would happen to _her_! Admittedly she only wanted it so she would finally, finally be able to forget that cheating idiot. She thought it was pathetic, the whole 'eternal soul mates' thing, but she wanted to love somebody more than she had loved Sam Uley.

But they had been _engaged_, dammit! They were going to have love forever! And then Emily came along, and Leah suddenly meant nothing. Leah would blame Emily forever. Not for coming to visit her, oh no – for not caring enough about her, Leah, to reject Sam!

Two people that she had thought were some of her closet relationships had betrayed her and not given a damn about what it did to her.

It hurt her, deeply, painfully, awfully. And they didn't care – after all, they were too busy sitting on some couch being all lovey-dovey!

But, apparently, fate hadn't punished her enough. Oh no, she had to turn into some freaking wolf too! And obey the exact same cheater that had so brutally dumped her only months ago! What's more, a bunch of idiotic guys could read her mind, and before she admitted to anybody that the whole Sam and Emily thing hurt her, she developed her bitchy personality. It kept them away, and that was all she was asking for.

Of course she broke down sometimes. Nobody could run around pretending to be incredibly tough without weakening to a point of tears occasionally.

But she would never show the pack any weaknesses, so when she did have those moments, she preferred to just wait until the entire pack was human, and then run it out of her system.

That's how she did things. It was her concept, and it worked for her.

Embry and Quil were running patrols on Tuesday evening in La Push. Quil was thinking about Claire, which was so predictable. All the wolves who _had_ imprints constantly thought about them.

Which, of course, left Embry a little bit alone. Oh, it wasn't like he was the only un-imprinted wolf. There were always Paul and Leah **(Author's Note: In this story, Paul never imprinted on Rachel)**, but they weren't exactly the best company. Seth, Collin and Brady were all around 14 years old and while Embry didn't dislike them, they weren't his friends.

And that was it. Sam had Emily, Jake had Renesmee and Quil had Claire. Sure, Jake and Quil had been his best friends before the whole imprinting issue, but now Embry felt like whenever he wanted to spend time with them or even just talk he was a nuisance, keeping them away from their precious imprints.

Even during patrols he only bothered them! Why did he even bother calling them his friends anymore?

Hey, thought Quil. We're still your friends!

For once, Embry didn't feel like faking it. Oh, come on, he thought. All you two ever think about are imprints, imprints, imprints. We never hang out anymore!

We're hanging out right now, thought Quil, his mental voice upbeat and cheery.

We're working, Quil, stated Embry dryly and concentrated on the forest flashing past him.

Leah stood underneath the warm shower and let the water trickle down her body. She took a few deep breaths, leaned her head back and enjoyed the relaxing sensation.

When did she ever take the time to do something like relax anymore? It really was something she ought to do more often.

She opened her eyes again. They were automatically drawn to the drawer underneath the double sink. The drawer where her tampons and pads were – tampons and pads she hadn't used in a few months now.

Leah snapped her eyes closed again, but she couldn't stop the thoughts from worming their way into her brain.

No future…damned…genetic dead end…unwanted…forget love ever happening…you'll spend the rest of your life like this…

And then what the pack would say – what the pack _did_ say whenever she thought like that.

Get over yourself, Leah…stop whining…quit being such a bitch…Sam doesn't love you, get that into your head…shut up with all of that feminine stuff…so what if you don't get your period…

Shut up, she commanded the voices, SHUT UP! But of course they wouldn't listen. Images flooded her mind, memories of other words spat in her direction.

After her not-so-great shower, Leah stood in front of the mirror in her light blue bathrobe and stared at her reflection. Oh, did she look different. And not just because of the wolf thing – although that _had_ changed her body a lot – but also because of the way her eyes were missing that sweet, happy expression they had worn so often before.

Before…before what? Phasing into an oversized dog? Or before Emily came along?

She sighed and grabbed a comb. It glided easily through her wet, short strands. It was almost frustrating how short they were. Maybe the length of her hair somehow symbolized her happiness. Back…_before_, her hair had been longer, reaching down past her shoulders. And she had been happy. Then, when Emily had come, her world was hit by a huge sledgehammer and she was broken inside.

She had gotten a haircut about a week or so after the breakup. Leah hadn't really known why – she still didn't today, but did that even matter? That wasn't when she had cut it as short as it was right now. After that first tragedy haircut, as she liked to call them, her hair reached down to her shoulders – about 2 or 3 inches shorter than it had been.

Then, she phased into a gigantic wolf, had to deal with a pack of idiotic boys who could read her mind and take orders from the guy that had completely broken her not all too long ago. Time for the second tragedy haircut. After that one, her strands went down to her chin.

And now she was considering a third tragedy haircut. She had been for awhile now, but always made sure to hide it from the pack. Sure, they knew she was thinking about a trip to the salon, and technically they knew what her motives were, but they were incapable of adding one plus one to make two, and she certainly wasn't going to help them.

Because this third tragedy was so awful, the Sam and Emily problem was insignificant in comparison. Sam and Emily affected her past, and the wolf issue affected her present, but the fact that she no longer got her period affected her future.

She could get over back then and right now, just as long as she had something to look forward too – just as long as she knew she would get out of this hellhole someday and be _happy_. But if she no longer got her period, she would never have kids, and that would not be helpful to her dreams of the future.

There must be something wrong with her. She had the evidence right in front on her, dammit! She was a female and phased, which was wrong enough in itself, but technically that meant Sam should have imprinted on _her_, because wolf genes from both sides could only mean stronger wolves! And since Sam obviously imprinted on somebody else, it proved that there was something wrong with her!

Leah closed her eyes and felt a shiver run down her back. Not a good idea, Clearwater, not a good idea, she thought to herself. Her phasing in the house would not go over well with anyone.

Oh, damn them all, she couldn't help but think as she wandered downstairs, absentmindedly grabbing a box of cereal and munching as she walked. She sifted through the pile of mail on the countertop. There was a letter from the bank, an advertisement for a grocery shop in Forks, a catalogue from an internet shoe shop and an unopened letter from her aunt, addressed to Sue Clearwater.

She took the shoe catalogue with her and sat down on the couch, still eating her cereal.

Leah wasn't really interested in the shoes, but she sifted through the catalogue anyway, determining which piece of footwear was ugly and which heels were high enough for the red carpet.

A few minutes later, the house door opened and Seth walked in, with a few guys from the pack. She glanced and them and returned to her catalogue. She hadn't forgotten that she was only wearing a bathrobe and nothing else, and it made her slightly uncomfortable, but then again, they saw her naked on a regular basis, didn't they?

Still, she felt awkward and shifted her position on the couch. Bad move, she thought a second later, as the boys turned to look at her.

"Leah Clearwater is looking at a _shoe catalogue_?" came Paul's voice, a mixture of surprise, mockery and disgust.

She said nothing, keeping a cool exterior, but her insides were boiling. What did they expect – that she act like a guy? Anger flared up inside of her.

"You gonna say something?" came another sneering voice. What was their problem?, thought Leah. But now it was time to gear up her defenses. She turned on her bitch façade and replied, accompanying her words with a glare.

That afternoon, Leah had patrols with Quil and Embry. All three stayed near silent the whole time, Quil, of course, only thinking about Claire. Leah picked up on Embry's annoyance because of the imprints ruining his friendships with Jake and Quil.

In a way, she understood him. It was always hard seeing someone you cared about leave because they had other people to be around. Damn, she had firsthand experience.

Don't go there, Clearwater, she thought to herself. Stay away.

And to distract herself, she did what she always did in such situations: sing Britney Spears songs in her head. Sure, it sounded strange at first, but it was the best she could come up with. Britney Spears was her line of defense, and it was _good_. The boys had gotten used to it – sometimes they really were a little bit stupid. How could they not notice that she only did that to hide her thoughts?

She quickly put the mental music back on, hoping that Embry and Quil hadn't heard that little truth. A short scan of their minds proved that she was lucky; both were so wrapped up in their thoughts they noticed nothing.

They really were stupid sometimes.

That evening, Sue chattered on about some trivial subject. Seth was listening, Leah was pretending to do so while actually wallowing in the comfort of being alone in her head.

How much those little, lonely moments meant to her. She could relax, drop the bitch thing and be oblivious to the rest of the world.

That shouldn't be the highlight of her day.

It was so damned unfair.

She wished her brain would shut up. Those thoughts were not what she needed right now. Leah put her hands in her hair and her elbows on the table, resting her head while staring down. Her ears picked up her mother's happy chitchat. Sue's happiness didn't frustrate her – but it did make her wistful, which she herself always perceived as weak.

No being wistful for her.

She noticed that Sue had changed the subject. About half a year ago, her mother had decided she wanted to visit her sister, Natalia, in New York, where Natalia lived. Somehow, she had managed to convince Leah to go as well. Privately, Leah thought that her mother was hoping Natalia would somehow make her outlook on life brighter, as if that could happen in the first place.

Sue had booked flight tickets, and the departure day was getting closer and closer. It was less than a week and a half away, and even Leah found herself getting excited at the prospect of having time away from all of the horrors known as her life.

She would fly to New York with her mother, but Sue would be leaving after just 5 days again because she couldn't just leave for much longer since she had so many responsibilities in La Push. Besides, the wolves had a little problem on their hands. 2 unidentified vampires had crossed into their territory over 5 times to date, always coming and going over the water so the scent was impossible to track. They hadn't hurt anybody (not even a deer had been found lifeless) but it was still worrying.

Very worrying. Well, at least to the other members of the pack. Leah's feelings for vampires were changing. She still hated them, sure, but as long as they stayed out of her way she'd stay out of theirs. It was fair enough that way, and she got her peace.

Some council members had even suggested calling the trip off entirely, which had been promptly refused by Sue. She had already paid for the expenses and she really wanted to see her sister. Damn vampires for all they were worth.

But still, Sue could only stay with Natalia for 5 days. Leah, however, was going to be there for 2 weeks. Some odd reason had her wanting Natalia to like her, so she planned on dropping the bitch thing. Why should she act all pissed, anyway? She didn't know anybody in New York and they didn't know her. She could be whoever she wanted to be – even the Old Leah, the Before The Breakup Leah.

She was going to have the time of her life.

How sad that she only had 2 weeks there. She would gladly run away from La Push and never come back, but two weeks were better than nothing.

She was drawn back into the conversation by her mother, who was, unsurprisingly, talking about Natalia. "…her boyfriend, Justin Rowster, is so wonderful for her. They make a lovely couple, they really do. Oh, I'm so excited. What if they get married? They've discussed it, you know, and that would be so lovely…"

Oh God, thought Leah, oh God. My mother is rambling like some teenage idiot.

"…and her job is really nice, too. A journalist at the New York Post, I mean, that sounds so elite and professional. I've heard so much about her friends and co-workers, and now I can finally meet them all. I can't believe Natalia is just 36, that's so young, and I'm 43, which isn't that old but it's definitely older…"

Yup, thought Leah, just like some star-struck 16 year old talking about her idol. Very awkward.

"I wonder if she'll ever have kids. She'd make such a loving mother, you know, but she is getting older and it would have to happen soon. I would love to have a little niece or nephew, and you kids would have cousins…Oh, wouldn't that be sweet?"

Please, Lord, thought Leah, spare me the further embarrassment of watching my mom act like she's a teenager.

It worked. The phone rang, cutting off Sue mid-sentence, who whirled over to go pick it up. Thankfully, she was above squealing a 'hi' into the phone, which would probably made Leah barf. Where was the controlled, wise tribe woman?

While her mother energetically discussed something on the phone, Leah made a pact. She would not come back from New York all over-caffeinated, squealing, rambling, overly girly, fast-talking, high-heel donning and generally crazy.

After all, somebody had to save the pride of the women, and her mother certainly wasn't doing it.


	2. Major Discovery Number 1

**Disclaimer: Meyer owns Twilight, not me (although on a side note, I've read that she gave all Twilight fanfics her blessing, so it's all good).**

Packing was not difficult.

Of course, had Leah Clearwater been any other girl, she would have needed at least one large suitcase for an endless amount of jeans, shorts, tops, shoes, beauty products, blow dryers, socks, bras, and so on. Because two weeks _was_ a considerable amount of time, and you required quite a few items for that.

Only thing was, she was Leah. A wolf, with a brother who was also a wolf, meaning that a) money was tight and b) she only had cheap things because they would get torn sooner or later anyway. Before… _it_ she had been a relatively normal, happy, fashionable young person, but why bother anymore?

She packed her few items in a reasonably small duffle bag. It almost hurt her to see how much extra room she had.

When she saw her mother's bag, though, she saw that it was considerably smaller. Okay, her mother would be back in La Push days before her, what with all the vampire issues they were having right now, but still.

Leah often felt sorry for her mother. It wasn't her fault the family was poor, but she still had to live with it.

Well, her mother seemed happy enough.

Often, she wondered how much money Natalia had. Obviously quite a bit, considering she lived in New York, but her aunt probably wasn't rich. Leah didn't ask why Natalia never gave them any money because it made perfect sense to her that Sue would never go so far as to ask for some from her own sister.

Still, she had to ask herself if Natalia would be embarrassed by her torn and dirty clothing, or by her sister's poverty. She wondered if it would bother Justin – should she, of course, meet Justin during her visit. Then again, of course she would.

The flight was tomorrow. For days, Sue had been all giggly and chatty and generally thrilled at everything. It made her daughter want to puke. This was not the mother she knew – this was some freaky teenage girl about to meet her idol.

Oh God.

A thought struck Leah. Was Natalia Sue's idol? Did her mother secretly wish she was a successful New Yorker with a nice, steady boyfriend? Was that the kind of thing her mom _wanted_?

Leah had always, always assumed Sue was perfectly happy as a tribe woman. But if she _wasn't_, then…

Oh God. _Oh God._

She would never see her mother the same way. Ever. How could she have missed this? How in hell could she have overseen that her mother had long given up her dream of living a relaxed life in a big city, with enough money to go around and no supernatural creatures to deal with on a daily basis? How could her mother play her role so well that nobody noticed a damn thing?

For a short while, Leah was almost in shock. Then, as the day passed on, she couldn't help but think about her new knowledge whenever she saw her mom.

During dinner, she couldn't help but stare at Sue's face. _I know you're unhappy_, she'd think, _I know you never envisioned your life like this._

_This isn't exactly my dream, either. And my future…it wasn't supposed to be like this. Are you like me? Do you want out?_

_Maybe not anymore. Maybe you've given up on it, told yourself that you're middle-aged now and this is your life. Maybe you're afraid of what will happen if you just picked up and moved to California._

_They'd certainly think of you differently._

_And your life will never change if you didn't go away, so you've given up. You wanted it, didn't you? You wanted a loving husband and sweet kids and a house in a city. What went wrong? How did you end up here? Okay, wrong word choice. How come you never left La Push? Natalia left, but you stayed here and started a family here. And then you heard about the free, wonderful life that Natalia was living and all you could think was, 'I should have had that too. I want that'._

For the first time in her life, Leah Clearwater felt sorry for her mother. It pained her to know that her mom had been a situation much different that hers, but the basics were the same. Sue Clearwater had wanted nothing more than to go somewhere, anywhere away from La Push, but something was holding her back.

_Will I end up like my mother, faking my own happiness?_ she asked herself. _I sure as hell don't want to. Why me? Is this going to turn into some tradition for the Clearwater women – will we all yearn to get _out _ but never end up actually doing anything?_

_Please don't let it be like that._

The next morning was travel day. With their tiny bags packed, Leah and Sue were driven to the Seattle airport by a somewhat reluctant Jake, who was probably only thinking of Bella **(A/N: We're somewhere in the middle of Eclipse)**. It didn't matter, though; Leah was still brooding over her mom and Sue herself was distracted as well. It was strange, all those days Sue had been giddy with excitement, but now she was quiet and thoughtful. _Maybe she's thinking about the old days_, thought Leah. _Maybe she's remembering who she used to be so many years ago, when she was still young and free-spirited and imagined a future very different from the one that she ended up with._

Their arrival at the airport distracted her. She was very surprised when Sue mastered the check-in and security with ease. How often had her mom actually done this before? Damn! How little did Leah know about Sue?

Leah only got more and more frustrated with herself as the day went on. She was accusing herself of being an ignorant, self-obsessed daughter. By the time they boarded, she was sick of hating herself and picked up a book she had brought along, _Silver Lining_ by a certain Zoe Katrin Rumey **(A/N: Made up the book and author myself)**. It was a worn, tattered copy she had owned for ages but never read, probably because ever since the wolf thing she didn't do stuff like read anymore.

Just like she didn't do school anymore.

Didn't do college and career plans anymore.

Didn't do love and dating anymore.

Didn't do girly things like shopping anymore.

Didn't do the whole happy person thing anymore.

Damn, when she looked at it like that…life was looking awfully bleak for her. Maybe it really was time for the next Tragedy Haircut. She imagined herself with a pixie cut for a moment or two. It would only make her look more like the guy wolves, but who cared?

Like she had ever fit in with them, anyway.

Not that she wanted to, of course.

She remembered the awkward day when she had told Sam, and essentially the rest of the pack, about the New York thing. That had been months ago. Leah recalled her mother telling her how she had bought the tickets…telling her that she, Leah, would have to gently teach this to Sam, because, well, he was pretty much her boss and also prone to over-reacting.

Sue had known how stupid Sam could be with things like that, and she had decided not to utter a word about the trip to anybody before Leah had told the alpha. Sure, she had talked about maybe seeing her sister again a few times with other moms, but that wasn't definite yet.

Leah had been brooding about it when she went to the grocery store to pick some stuff up. How was she going to do this? Why did she have to do this? Annoyed with herself for turning one little talk with Sam into a huge problem, she was about to go in when she heard a voice behind her.

Billy Black's voice.

"So, Leah, how are you?" he asked in a way that immediately made her suspicious.

Still, she managed to turn around and greet him with a decent facial expression. "I'm fine, thanks, you?" she asked, slightly on edge because she suspected that he wanted to have some kind of deep discussion with her.

She was right. "Good as I can be," he responded, carefully eyeing her before going on. "Something going on with you and your mother? I'm getting these strange vibes."

Damn Billy and his vibe-feeling-tendencies. She should have predicted this.

"We're fine," she said in a gruff, unpleasant voice. She felt very uneasy, as if Billy knew more than he was letting on…what the hell, he was probably somehow informed already.

Uncomfortable, she tried to inconspicuously change the subject. "Where's Jake? I don't think he should be leaving out here all alone. No offence, of course."

"None taken. He's in there right now," he said, pointed to the store. "I'm just waiting for him to come back."

When she saw that glint in his eyes that meant he had noticed her not so delicate subject change, she excused herself and darted into the store. _I am such a wimp_, she thought to herself. I can't even deal with Billy, how am I supposed to manage Sam? Damn it, damn it, damn it.

But Billy _had_ been acting strange out there, hadn't he? It had seemed like he was analyzing her, trying to figure her out. Well, Mister Black, she thought to herself, screw the idea, because you _can't_ figure me out. Nobody's ever done it before, so forget it.

She have herself a little push and moved down the aisle. Leah caught sight of Jacob at the register and a new thought entered her mind. What if Billy told his son of his suspicions? Didn't Jake have patrol tonight? What if Sam was there, too? And if Jake told Sam? To others that might not seem like too big of a deal, but she _knew_ Sam, and she knew that if he didn't learn about this directly from her, it was going to make him accepting it a hell of a lot harder.

So she did the only thing that could be done. She left the store without buying any of the things she had wanted to, brushed past Billy and Jacob who were standing around in the small parking lot, opened the door of her old car, got inside, and quickly drove to Sam's house, her mind reeling. All of her previous thoughts about when and how it would be best to tell Sam went out the window as she drove.

When she arrived shortly afterwards at Emily's small house, she didn't really think as she jumped out and walked up to the porch. After a short deliberation, she banged her palm against the door three times and then opened it. Brady and Seth were staring at her. It looked as if they had been watching television.

"Little brother, Brady," she acknowledged and then walked past the two and into the kitchen, where Emily was cooking something and Quil and Sam were talking. However, all three stopped what they were doing to look at her as she entered. She registered that somewhere in the back of her mind but didn't really take notice.

"Sam," she said, her voice surprising even her with its lack of emotion. "I'm flying to New York with my mom to visit my aunt for two weeks. Mom's only staying for five days, though. Tickets are already booked. And don't bother telling me I'm needed around here because there is absolutely nothing going on. It's in a couple of months." She finished her little speech and then observed the three listeners. Scratch that, five, she thought as she felt Brady's and Seth's presence behind her. It made her feel trapped in between them and the party of three in the kitchen.

Sam just looked at her, a little dumbfounded. Emily seemed just as shocked, but had the brains to turn back to her cooking so that nobody could see her face. Quil just shrugged, and in that moment, Leah appreciated the way Quil took everything lightly.

The silence was uncomfortable and awkward, which Seth must have been feeling too, because he spoke up. "Oh, that thing Mom was talking about," was all he said, though, and then nobody said anything for awhile again.

It was growing to be past unpleasant when Leah decided she wasn't subjecting herself to the torture anymore. "Well, then. Now you know," she said, and with those words she pushed past the boys and exited the house, leaving them all behind as she got into her crappy car, turned on the ignition and drove off.

It didn't take long to get to her house. Once she turned the engine off, however, Leah remembered the grocery shopping she had originally wanted to do. With a sigh, she hopped back in and drove over to the store.

She was brought back to reality when stewardesses brought them drinks. She took a Sprite, hoping it would keep her from feeling _too_ hungry. Damn, hopefully Natalia wouldn't notice her strange eating habits.

After finishing her Sprite, she fell asleep, waking up only when the plane was already beginning to descend. She had never realized how little sleep she got in La Push before. Sure, she had always been a little tired, but still.

With a yawn, she stretched her limbs and watched out the window as the plane slowly climbed down.


	3. Arrivals

_**Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm just borrowing S. Meyer's characters for some fun.**_

_**Hey guys! So I did some deep thinking, and now I have the plot for the rest of this story semi-figured out, which means that stuff will actually start happening now. For those of you reading my other story, Taking Nothing On Faith, I'll probably update that really soon. It's easier to write than this one.**_

_**Anyway, enjoy, and please don't hesitate to review.**_

_**Love, Berry Smoothie**_

* * *

><p>When Leah was finished yawning, she looked past her mom out the window. Yup, they were going to land in 20 or so minutes. Which gave her enough time to think a little bit. For the first time, she realized that this little trip to New York might not be all that fun. It all depended on Natalia. <em>I don't even know her at all<em>, thought Leah. Hell, maybe it was better that way – then she could act all normal and shove Bitchy Leah away for the duration of her stay – but still. With a shock, Leah realized that she had never really thought about what she was doing here.

There could be all sorts of problems. Natalia could suspect something, there could be a vampire traveling around in New York, there could be –

Oh shit. It was extremely likely that quite a few leeches were hanging around in the city! What the hell was she supposed to do now?

In that second, her mind presented her an answer. And the solution to her little problem turned out to be…: do nothing. Keep a low profile, don't draw attention to yourself by phasing, act human, don't try to fight them as a wolf. Do absolutely nothing. They won't know about you, they'll leave you alone.

Leah loved the idea.

* * *

><p>The plane touched down. She failed to notice it, though. Nervousness was building itself up inside of her, and it grew as they got closer and closer to the arrivals area where Natalia would be standing. At the baggage claim, she was close to going crazy from it. It was very unlike her to be the slightest bit nervous, anxious or even curious, and now she was all three.<p>

Leah was behaving like she had before Sam. Maybe…maybe she wouldn't need to fake so much for Natalia's sake after all. Maybe she would automatically transform into a normal person.

_That will never happen_, argued her mind, but damn it, it had a point. She couldn't expect to find happiness just by staying away from her past, right?

Leah sighed. Her mother, who stood next to her, registered this and wondered what was going on in her daughter's mind. She had been watching during the entire flight, and had noticed that Leah seemed different. More upbeat and alive, but also thoughtful and quiet.

That was not the Leah she had gotten to know these past months. This person was entirely different – which was probably a very good thing. When she had planned this entire visit to Natalia, she had hoped that Leah would have a little bit of happiness away from La Push, her own personal hell. Sue didn't completely know how Leah was doing mentally there, but it couldn't be good.

She was hoping that Natalia, with her cheery ways, wisdom, youth and logic could pull up the 18 year old from the dark hole she was hiding in and show her the open world of possibilities. Now she was even more hopeful.

Natalia was waiting in the large crowd of people, all searching for family and friends from the plane. She didn't really know what she was looking for, because although she had met Leah before, it had been at her brother in law's funeral, and she had been a little out of it. Poor girl.

Poor _woman_, she corrected herself immediately. Leah Clearwater, her niece, was 18 and therefore no longer a girl. She was ready for real life.

Natalia was proud of her, even though they barely knew each other. She didn't know why, but she didn't question it.

The first flyers stepped into the waiting area, and she saw a young girl who couldn't have been older than 6 rush forward to hug a woman who looked about her age. It made her smile.

Soon enough, Leah and Sue also made their way into the medium sized hall, and immediately Natalia stepped over to them with a smile on her face. She was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a light purple top with beads on the top. She looked gorgeous as she hugged her sister and her niece.

Leah had met her aunt only a few times before. Most of those where when Leah was still really young, maybe 6 or 8. She could barely remember seeing Natalia then.

Natalia had visited once when she was 12, but her aunt had only stayed for 4 days. The house was so small, and there was so little to do for visitors to La Push… The Clearwaters had never gone to visit Aunt Natalia as a family. Hell, Leah and Seth hadn't ever left the damn state. Travel was somewhat costly, after all, and even before the wolf thing they hadn't been the richest family around.

Now, of course, they were poor.

Leah remembered having seen Natalia one more time: at her dad's funeral. She had arrived 3 days beforehand to help Sue with all of the arrangements, and left the evening after the funeral. After all, the lady had a job to get to.

Leah recalled how helpful Natalia had been. Everybody else had thought Sue was really strong and handling the loss of her husband well. In truth, Sue had been incapable of getting anything done. Of course, she also had the oh-my-God-both-of-my-kids-transform-into-wolves-and-now-I-have-to-take-my-just-deceased-husband's-role-in-the-tribe thing to deal with.

Needless to say, it was a very emotional time.

Anyway, Leah had last seen her aunt months ago, and they hadn't really talked because of all the other crap there was to deal with. Like the fact that she, Leah Clearwater, was now a wolf. And had contributed to her father's death by phasing into said wolf.

Like she had said: an emotional time.

Leah was distracted out of her thoughts when Natalia pulled her in for a hug. She did the civilized thing and returned the hug, surprising herself by actually being glad to see Natalia.

Apparently Sue and Natalia had a _lot_ of catching up to do, judging by the amount of talking they were doing. By the time they left the airport and were driving in Natalia's car, Sue had recounted many tales from life in La Push. Leah paid close attention, memorizing each and every little lie her mom had to tell, in case Natalia asked her a question about La Push later.

Okay. So Sam ran this little business type thing, and both Leah and Seth worked for him, along with the rest of the pack.

Their work consisted of patrolling the grounds of the reservation, looking for anything that was not normal. _Actually_, thought Leah, _that's pretty much true._

Seth and Leah had both dropped out of high school. _Also not a lie, _thought Leah. Thankfully Natalia didn't ask why her niece and nephew hadn't stayed in school. _Then again, she'll probably privately ask mom sometime when I'm not around_, considered Leah.

Sue stayed away from the whole Sam-Emily dilemma, but Leah was pretty sure that Natalia already knew the basics. Still, she was grateful for the silence about it.

Eventually, they arrived at Natalia's house. It wasn't in the really main part of New York but still not too far away. And it was wonderful.

The floor was a light wood and the walls a soft beige. When you walked in, you had the living room directly to your right. It was entirely open. There were two dark brown sofas around a glass coffee table that had a copy of the _Cosmopolitan_ on it. Hmm, thought Leah, interesting. What a big difference there was between her mom and her aunt. Sue didn't read magazines in general, and if she did, it would probably be something like _Better Homes and Gardens_, under no circumstances the Cosmo.

Leah had occasionally read magazines before It All happened. There was a time when she had bought almost every issue of _Seventeen_.

To the left of the door was the bathroom. It was modern but small. Still, it had a toilet, sink and shower.

The kitchen and dining room were combined and kind of sectioned off from the living room by a wall that ran between them but stopped about five feet before the wall, a space that served as the door.

The kitchen was as modern as the living room had been. There was a lot of shiny, gleaming metal and almost everything was gray, white or black.

There was a table with 4 chairs, two on each side, next to the kitchen. The table was a pretty dark wood and was rectangular. In the middle, there was an oblong gray bowl with exactly one purple flower, which was laying in there. It was surprisingly pretty.

Stairs on the bathroom side of the bottom floor led up to the next storey. Here, there was a hall with a total of three doors; one on the left and two on the right. Natalia gestured to the left one and said, "My bedroom. A private bathroom is attached, so I thought I'd leave the one downstairs to you guys."

She then started walking to the door on the right at the end of the hall. "The one over there," she said, gesturing to the right door closer to the stairs, "leads to what I consider an office. It has my computer, bookshelves, all sorts of crap, even a treadmill."

Natalia opened the other door and stepped in. "This is my rarely-used guest bedroom. It used to be the second bedroom but I converted it into a storage-space slash guest bedroom kind of thing. There's a futon to sleep on – it's actually pretty comfortable." She grinned.

"You guys must be tired and hungry. I personally hate flying longer than 2 hours. You know, I can never sleep on planes and the food they serve is always so ick. Well, go ahead and get settled in. I'll leave you alone to get your things sorted, maybe take a shower, whatever. Besides, I have to go run a few errands anyway. Sorry about that. I should be back in maybe two hours." Natalia waved her hands around as she spoke as if for clarification.

"Don't worry 'bout it," said Leah, sitting down on the futon, which was in the bed-state.

Thirty minutes later, Leah did actually step into the shower downstairs. She took one look at the hair products sitting there and decided she would try using them. In La Push you could only get those crappy quality shampoos from unknown brands. The general store had stuff from Sadana **(A/N: Sadana doesn't exist. At least not that I know of. I made it up myself)**.

Natalia, however, had Herbal Essences shampoo, John Frieda conditioner and a Garnier hair mask tub. For God's sake, if she had this in her guest bathroom that she rarely showered in herself, what was in hers? That little hidden part of Leah's brain that was still The Leah From Before thought she was in heaven. Leah couldn't blame her.

The only female wolf on the planet stripped down, got in and turned on the water. She jumped a bit at the cold and moved to the side of the shower so that the water didn't hit her, a hand always testing the temperature, seeing if it had warmed up yet.

Leah stayed under the warm water for a surprisingly long time. She didn't know how long exactly, of course, but it sure felt longer than the usual 10 or 12 minutes. When she did come out, her feet were all wrinkled. She wrapped herself in her old yellow bathrobe and ran a brush through her short, black hair.

Then she stared at her reflection in the mirror. It was unusual; Leah often threw an occasional glance at herself but never really inspected her face or body. Now she did, trying to view herself from a stranger's perspective.

She was tall. That was nothing new. And she had muscles, but they weren't gross. As a matter of fact, Leah decided she loved her muscles. A lean, strong body – an ideal so many people strived for. She had it for free.

Well, not free…actually, she paid a damn large price for her toned, flat stomach and elegant, strong arms.

She wondered if strangers thought she was pretty… They once had, she knew, but now? Maybe they would consider her hot, but pretty as in beautiful? Probably not.

Fuck them.

Fuck them all.


	4. Departures, Arguments, Shoes And Worries

_**Typical disclaimer applies: I don't own it, don't make any money from this, am just writing this for fun, yada yada yada**_

_**Hi guys! I'm really sorry for the long wait, but I am going through a shitty time right now and updating isn't one of the first things on my mind. Anyway, for those of you who asked, yes, I am re-writing because I needed some changes for the plot to work in the upcoming chapters. One of the changes will be that I am skipping those days where all they do is look at sights because I've never been in New York and don't really know what everything is like. The best thing I can do is google it, and it's still hard. So I'll just skip over that, but you will get to hear a few "memories" from the sights.**_

_**Anyway, read, enjoy, review :)**_

_**P.S. I have a blog! Go here: .com **_

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><p>Leah was surprised at how much she was enjoying herself here in New York.<p>

The past four days had been … fun. They (Natalia, Sue and her, although Natalia sometimes couldn't come because she had to work) visited all of the main sights in New York: the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Terminal, all of that Ellis Island stuff, two museums of art (which actually weren't that bad…), Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park, Ground Zero (really sad, but the memorial was pretty), Wall Street … her head was spinning from everything she had seen.

And now Sue was flying back to La Push. Today. In just a few, insignificant hours.

Leah could not imagine going home now.

She had just gotten used to a regular sleeping pattern, to not having to see the pack, to having private thoughts … to being herself.

Thank God she still had some time here. More than a week of wonderful-ness left, actually. And it would be just that … wonderful.

She knew she was overdue for a call back to La Push. Sue had phoned Seth two or three times, but just Seth, and probably just to tell him how to reheat the frozen dinners Sue had prepared.

Leah figured that if anything really important were to happen, somebody would make the expensive coast-to-coast call – and besides, it wasn't like Sue or Leah could come back any sooner than planned, and they couldn't be helpful from the other side of the country either. So technically Leah didn't care about what was going on there.

But she knew she still had to call. It was one of those unspoken rules she hated.

She hesitated for a moment, thinking about who to call. Seth? Probably not the best source of information. Sam? She really didn't want to hear his voice right now. Paul, Quil, Embry, Brady? Ha. Forget it.

Which left Jacob. Which was pathetic.

With a sigh, she dialed Sam's number. He was the alpha anyway, screw everything else.

No one picked up. Annoyed at herself for being relieved, Leah flopped down on her bed and just stared at the wall for awhile. Waiting … waiting … always waiting for something.

At noon, Natalia came upstairs and into her room. She found Leah asleep, and gently shook her shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, we're gonna leave in maybe twenty minutes," she said once Leah had opened her eyes.

"Okay. Let me just get ready real quick," responded the teenager. **(A/N: in my world, our dear Leah is 18)**

Natalia left and Leah sat up, yawning. She would liked to have said she was wide awake, but she was one of those people who needed a good ten minutes to really be alert after sleeping. Trudging to the bathroom, Leah threw a glance in the mirror.

_Not_ a pretty sight. The pale-ish skin, the puffy, tired eyes, the messy hair …

Leah splashed some cold water of her face and then dried it off with a towel. There. That was as close as she'd get to washing it before leaving and maybe it would help reduce the puffiness of her eyes. She was hitting two birds with one stone, technically.

The concealer that had been in the drawer underneath the sink for the past few days was still there. Good. She was convinced it was Natalia's, but since it wasn't in Natalia's actual bathroom and just so happened to match her skin color she had been making use of it.

She ran a brush through her short hair and frowned at it. She really should scratch the idea of another Tragedy Haircut and just let it grow out. It'd be prettier that way, too. Besides, there was no more moping around for her. She had done enough of that before coming here.

No more negative thinking.

No more negative anything at all.

She jogged back upstairs to her room and changed her shirt. The other one was wrinkled from sleep. The jeans still looked fine, though.

The fact that she cared enough about her appearance to change her shirt because of wrinkles said something.

It said a whole lot.

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><p>Hours later, after coming back from the airport without Sue, Leah and Natalia were sitting in a coffee shop not far away from Natalia's apartment. Leah was drinking an espresso, Natalia a cappuccino.<p>

"So tell me about your plans for the future," said Natalia, sounding unfairly optimistic.

Leah chuckled. "Yeah. That's the standard question, isn't it? Thing is, I don't know. I'm kind of … in a crappy situation right now. There's nothing for me in La Push, but damn, it's not like I can just pick up and leave. I mean, there's a lot of complicated stuff going on and …" she trailed off and sighed. Complicated – that didn't even begin to describe what was waiting for her back home.

She realized she actually wanted to tell her aunt, or anybody actually, this stuff. Well, the things she _could_ talk about.

Leah went on. "I dropped out of high school in my senior year, which sucks. Without my high school diploma I'm really screwed, and I can't just go back to La Push High, because … oh, I never really liked it there and the problem is … the time. Basic schedule stuff, you know? I don't have time every school day from 8 am to 3 in the afternoon, and I can't just _make_ time because I … work such crappy hours and …, oh God it's awful," she said, always pausing when she wasn't sure how to rephrase something.

_I work such crappy hours?_, she thought. _What kind of a weird non-explanation is that, anyway?_

"What's keeping you in La Push?" asked Natalia, seeming genuinely curious.

"I don't know. Where else can I go?"

"Good point," murmured Natalia. "You know, if you theoretically had your high school diploma, you could just go off to college someplace far, far away from La Push and be rid of it all."

"I don't think leaving La Push is that easy. It's kind of like … I have an obligation there, you know? I can't just pick up and go off to college. And besides, how would I pay for it? Money isn't something we have too much of," Leah said wistfully.

Natalia grinned. "You're thinking that if your family had more money and maybe lived somewhere else, all of your problems would be solved."

Leah smiled, too. "You make it sound like a bad thing to think."

Natalia shrugged, still grinning. "I think you should get your hands on a diploma. And then you should move away."

"It would be a great plan, you know, except for the first part is kind of hard. Like I said: I can't change my schedule to fit in with any potential school needs."

"You could earn your high school diploma online, you know."

The suggestion hung heavily in the air for a few moments.

"It's not really something I've ever looked into," said Leah, avoiding the subject.

"I have," countered her aunt. Damn, she seemed determined. "I'm sorry if you think I'm violating your personal space, but I even have a list." Natalia chuckled and looked down at her lap, a little embarrassed.

Leah was trying to decide whether or not to be insulted that Natalia was pretty much planning her future for her when the said aunt interrupted her thoughts.

"Look, before you get angry at me," Natalia said, trying to explain. "Your mom – my older sister – has told me _so much_ about you all, and La Push, and … I just, I guess I can understand you, you know? Well, maybe less of that, but I want to _help._ I … I…"

"I'm not a charity case," said Leah in a strong voice.

"No! You're not! But you have this spirit around you, and I just… I don't know."

Leah picked up her empty espresso and stared the non-existent contents down. What the hell was this, anyway? Had her mom dragged her here so Natalia could get all positive-outlook pep-talk on her? Oh, to hell with it all.

"Let's go shopping," Leah said determinedly.

"Okay," said Natalia, quickly finished her cappuccino and picking up her purse. They both acted as if the coffee shop incident had never happened. And after a minute or two, they resumed chatting and bantering like they had been before. All was forgiven, if there had ever been anything to forgive.

One pair of black leggings for Leah, a red trench coat for Natalia, a white blazer and a long necklace (both for Leah) later, the duo found themselves in a shoe store. More specifically, _Otro Vez_, a medium sized place that had just opened a few months ago. According to Natalia, at least.

"I really like this store, you know?" said Natalia as they entered. "The shoes are pretty and they won't fall apart in two seconds. And there are no designer brands or anything so normal people like us can afford them. It's still pricey, but this is where a lot of people go for their quality shoes now."

"You looking for anything specific?" asked Leah.

"Yeah … Sue told you about Justin, right? Justin Rowster? We've been together for years now, and have talked about getting married. You haven't met him yet because he's not here. Justin was on a business trip, in Florida, actually. He works for an advertising company and was meeting up with an important client over there."

Leah mm-hmmed.

"Anyway, he'll be back tomorrow, but then he still has to work and all. But you'll probably meet him in 3 days, because he's taking me to this classy little restaurant he found. You'll be alone at my place. You could always find yourself a party or something, if you want. But anyway. The restaurant. I have this new little black dress and I need shoes to go with it. So that's what I'm looking for. Is there anything particular you want?"

"I need both flats and heels. You said this store is a bit more expensive?"

"Right," said Natalia. "But there's this huge, gigantic shoe store not far away that's cheaper. We can go there, too."

And go there they did, after Natalia had found a delicate pair of silver high heels at _Otro Vez_. Leah was impressed; the store really was enormous. She ended up buying black pumps and pretty ballerina flats. And she had fun.

* * *

><p>That evening, before falling asleep, her mind kept returning to one thing: online high schools. She <em>knew<em> she would never make it out of La Push without her diploma, and she knew she wanted out. More than anything, right now.

Leah made a mental note to find out more about them. There was no way in hell she was going back to La Push High, that was certain.

She wondered what the guys would think. Not just about her thinking about an online high school, but about the things she was doing here in general. She knew they never thought she was the type to buy high heels or necklaces or blazers or leggings or any of the things she'd found today.

And as much as she wanted to, she couldn't just say _screw them_. She didn't care about their opinion but couldn't stand all of that babyish teasing. As if they had nothing better to do.

In short, Leah was worried. About going back to La Push, about people's reactions. She knew she seemed tough, and she was, but she couldn't take souvenirs from Happy Leah's world back to Bitchy Leah's. Because Happy Leah was not at home in La Push.

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><p><strong>Otro vez is Spanish for "again". I decided it sounded cool.<strong>

**Please hit that little review button and tell me what you think. It means the world to us authors, it really does. Even if it's only a few words long. Yes, that was supposed to make you review. Please?**


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